It's parent/teacher conference night. Yeah, they still do that for high school. I know, what the fuck.
I'm so scared that my math teacher is going to tell my parents about the two homeworks I didn't hand in.
With my parents, if I miss a homework and they find out, I'm pretty much dead. It's all due to things that happened in seventh and eighth grade. Long story.
Anyway, I'm fatter today, feel better, I'm so scared, and my mom is bringing home lo-mein.
As I was eating mac and cheese and guzzling chocolate milk after school, I felt grossly full. And I thought to myself, I could just go puke this up right now. Then it would all be better.
.....
Is this some new stage in my obesophobia (fear of gaining weight, becoming fat)? I hate throwing up my food. Absolutely detest.
I feel like such a loser, sitting here, complaining to you all, who seem to be having wonderfully perfect days. I just feel like a fat loser.
Not only do I feel like a fat loser...I am one. Fuck.
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You are not a fat loser. You've lost nearly 20lbs so far from your high weight and that's something to be proud of. We all have our off days. In fact, I'm not really sure I ever have truly good days. Its all a whirlwind insanity to me :D
ReplyDeleteDon't throw up your food. Its just not worth it. Trust me. It will make you gain and feel so worthless.
And never feel bad about complaining ; ) Its your blog you silly girl where you get to let it all out.
Stay strong <3