I just found out ten minutes ago that my aunt may have breast cancer. My mom is scared shitless and so am I, for her, for her family, for us. She's my mom's favorite sister. We won't know until Friday or Monday if it really is or not.
On top of that, I forgot to pack my lunch today. Which meant I would be forced to buy food from the cafeteria, by my psychopath friends who don't realize that I DON'T NEED FOOD.. Which means I get the choice between greasy french fries, greasy chicken, or greasy mozzarella sticks. I chose the mozzarella sticks, because there were only four of them. Big mistake. Not only that, but as I was eating, they watched me carefully. Too carefully. Then dragged me up to the concession stand to buy a Snickers for me. And watch me with eagle eyes choke it down. I wanted to puke so bad.
Times like this one make me wish I could make myself puke. But I hate it. It makes me feel out of control and not myself.
Total calorie damage today was 690, 190 calories over my daily limit. Fuck. On top of that, I can't exercise because I have a term paper to write, and I just got home. Bedtime (yeah, I'm a junior in high school with a bed time) is at 10:30. Four hours to write a five to seven page paper. Fuck me.
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