Saturday, February 26, 2011


It's been twenty days since my last post.
This is the longest I've gone without posting since I started.

I feel like I owe some sort of explanation.
I know a lot of people don't really read this anymore (or most that do don't comment, like I don't on everyone's blogs, because I'm lazy shit and never know what to say), but I need to get this out there.

I don't know that I'll be posting again, I won't say that I'm back.
Because I'm not.

I'm somewhere else, somewhere that's kind of like limbo. I can't completely think straight.
When I go to the grocery store, instead of heading straight for the food I usually binge on, I wander. I stare at things for ten, fifteen, twenty minutes. Pick something out. Put it back. Go look through makeup. Pick something up. Put it back. Pick something else up. Decide to buy it. Go back to the food, pick something out. Something remotely healthy. Pick something else out. And something else. Walk around like a zombie. Buy it all, bring it home.

On a completely different note, pastels and lace are two of my favorite things fashion-wise right now. I'm in love with lavender and peach.

I think I'm going to fast tomorrow. I haven't fasted in quite some time. I'm also going to start running again. I just need to get up the courage to run outside in the bipolar Central New York weather.

A quote from one of my August posts:
"I could never leave, not completely."

I say crazy things sometimes, huh?

This post has turned into completely what I didn't want it to. I wanted it to be direct, straightforward. I had something I wanted to explain, but it's getting too long. Maybe I'll post sometime this week.

This is pretty much what has been happening in my mind lately. I hop from one thing to the next, then to the next, then back to the first thing, then something else.

My stomach hurts. Ate too many Now And Laters and too much hot chocolate and too MUCH.

Top Ten March 2011 Goals
10. Run every day.
9. Don't count calories, but eat as little as possible.
8. No binges, no purges.
7. Write new songs.
6. Wash face twice every day. No more acne on this face.
5. Make play costumes.
4. Make new hats.
3. Do homework.
2. Keep room clean.
1. Try not to pout.


  1. I have missed you! I know what you mean, that's how I was feeling, that's why I was away for about 6 months. I hope you can come back soon but only when your ready, just don't take as long I me, I'd miss you way too much. I mean that.
    I love you. A lot

  2. Your March goals are the same as mine.
    I read one of your posts.

    Xx. Lillie