Saturday, April 16, 2011

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself

I hate myself.

I weighed this morning at 167.4. I ate a little extra last night, wanted to boost my metabolism.

At midday, after intense room-cleaning, I was back to 166.2, which was nice.
I had to eat dinner with the family.

I didn't have to eat the entire bag of Starburst Gummies, or the entire bag of chocolate-covered pretzels.

And now I'm 168.4.

I hate myself, and I hate these binges that happen at home.

I didn't purge today or yesterday. It took a lot not to purge after my little 9 p.m. binge tonight. I wanted to so bad.

God, I'm pathetic. I know I say that a lot, and you guys reassure me that I'm not, but I am. I'm pathetic, and no one really pays attention to what I do anymore.
I wish wishing for things actually worked.

Hopefully I can sleep off these two pounds at wake up at the goal for this week, 166.
I hate being at home all day. I really do.

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