Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dear Dad,

I really love it when you make comments about me stretching out your men's XL sweatshirt. It really makes me feel good knowing that my fat hips can stretch out something approximately ten inches wider than them.
I love that your stupid comments about getting in shape trigger me to binge. Because all I ever want is the opposite of what you want, so if that means being fat and ugly, so be it.
But I don't want to be fat and ugly. I just don't want you to take credit for me being skinny. This is why I need to move out, because all you do is motivate me to eat and gain weight.
Telling me that I'm unhappy just pisses me off, because you're too busy living in your fucking online poker game to pay attention to what's going on in my life. And you're too busy being a fucking hypocrite for me to take you seriously.
So next time you have a comment about clothing, my body, what I put in it, or what I do to it, take it, and shove it right up your hairy fucking fat ass.
Because no one cares.

Your Darling Daughter


  1. This speaks so much to me <3 Hope you're doing okay, hun

  2. I can definitely relate.

    My dad, and his comments, were so incredibly triggering to me. It didn't matter how many times I tried to stop binging and purging, or how good I was doing, or how far I'd come - five minutes in his presence and it all fell apart. It went the same exact way every time: five minutes with dad, eat too much, throw up.

    Finally I realized it didn't matter how hard I tried, I couldn't live with him and get better, ever. I had to move out.

    So I did. And it was the best thing I ever did.

    If you can move out, and if it would help you, then do it. Even if it means you won't have as much disposable income. It's worth it.

  3. I know the feeling oh too well. My mom tells me i'm looking huge and I look pregnant and I HATE it so much. I know getting skinny will make her happy but part of me wants to go against what she says. And yet I need to be skinny, because a life without getting skinny is no life at all in my opinion.