Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Charlie's "Get Healthy" Plan.

This is not a disease, Charlie. You know that, so stop pretending.
You are not fucked up for wanting to be thin and healthy.
You are not fucked up for having to do it your own way.
It's not your fault your metabolism can't handle normal amounts of food without massive weight gain.
It's not your fault you took to bingeing to get rid of negative feelings.

But it's time for you to turn your life around.



1. If eating, healthy foods only (see lists of healthy and unhealthy foods).
2. Limit intake of calorie-filled beverages (see list of beverages to avoid/eliminate).
3. Work out at least 30 minutes a day. Doesn't matter what. Walk, run, ellipse, bike, dance. Just do it for (at least) thirty straight minutes.
4. Meditate at least 10 minutes a day, write in journal every day.
5. Get at least eight hours of sleep (this means GO TO BED).
6. Do your homework.
7. Lotion every night. It's winter now, idiot.
8. No popping pills to go to sleep.

Healthy foods:

* Carrots
* Lettuce
* Croutons, but only if in a salad
* Salad dressing, but only if on a salad, and only if it is the "light" version
* Cucumber
* Kiwi
* Celery
* Apples
* Grapes
* Bananas (but ONLY in moderation)
* Tomato soup
* Rice cakes, unflavored
* Pomegranates
* Cottage cheese
* Eggs
* Yogurt
* Other miscellaneous fruits and vegetables

Unhealthy foods:

* Candy
* Chocolate (which is DIFFERENT from candy, and you know that)
* Chips
* Fried food
* Meat
* High-calorie nuts
* Trail mix
* Ice cream
* Cake
* Cheesecake
* Cookies
* Cupcakes
* Brownies
* Cheese
* Bread
* Bagels
* Cream cheese
* Butter
* Popcorn
* Pizza
* Gummies
* Lollipops

Beverages to limit:

* Opaque juices
* Clear juices
* Low-fat skim milk
* Hot chocolate
* Coffee

Beverages to eliminate:

* Full-calorie sodas (exception: Bob Marley Drink)
* Any more than 1% milk
* Milkshakes
* Smoothies (unless as a substitute for a meal)

1 comment:

  1. I've got to say, I really love this plan. It's good, you'll feel better and I bet you'll start to lose weight. YOU CAN DO IT!!