Thursday, January 13, 2011

I don't know what to say.

Not really sure where I've been.

I was happy for a few days.
(Like, Monday. And Tuesday.)

I felt good about my body.
Like maybe I wasn't really all that gross.

I find that this happens after I leave home for an amount of time. Then I come home and everything just hits me again.
Toxic environment. I need to move out.
I need to work out.

I'm sick right now... Can't breathe through my nose, throat's swollen, so I can't breathe through my mouth.
Not really sure how I'm alive.

I wrote a play for my creative writing class. About this girl who deals with voices in her head. She's bulimic. She kills herself in the end.
Everyone says, "Good job Charlie, great writing Charlie, that's such a good play, Charlie!"
No one asks where it came from.
I'm not sure if I want them to or not.

I don't want to study for my test tomorrow. I don't want to study for my quiz tomorrow. I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

I will though.

Sorry I'm so blah, sorry I suck, sorry I'm fat, sorry I haven't been commenting, sorry I fail at life.
Love you guys.


  1. It is ridiculous how people never think about where the inspiration for any kind of artwork comes. They just think that something like that pops in the mind for some reason. But obviously for you it is the same as for me and you write out really personal things. Like little peaces of your mind. Which usually turn out to be best kind, since they are so realistic. I'd love to read that play of yours.

    Keep holding on!

  2. I think that it would be a good thing... Let them praise your creative prowess and use that excuse to vent your inner demons... I do that, and no one is any the wiser.
    That way, you get good grades for getting your fears and feelings out in a way that is so obvious that others neglect to notice even the smallest hint of weakness, and instead, they remain blind.
    hope all goes well =]

  3. Ugh, whatev. You don't suck, you're awesome :P

    Keep on keepin' on <3