Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Warning: Rambles.

Thank you guys. I was having some sort of sick emotional break down last night... I don't know. I don't usually show my bad emotions, just kind of stuff them down. Sometimes they explode, hence last night...

Dreams.and.Bones. (and V), I absolutely LOVE that song. It was kind of my anthem after I got fucked over (not literally... get your minds out of the gutter C;) by a guy. My favorite line:
"So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die."
That song is just so fucking epic.

To get things and things out of the way, intake was good today. Had a Snickers (yes, I'll be doing my crunches tonight, I promise), but that's it. I'm only going to take a few bites of whatever Mom is making for dinner tonight.
Just weighed myself. 162.4 on my shitty scale, but 161.0 on my parents' scale! I don't know which one to trust, though I'd rather stick with my parents' just because it's one pound away from my weight goal....

Which needs to come soon. Like, tomorrow... Because on Friday, it's a week until my next weight goal, and if I'm nowhere near close, I have to change ALL of my goal dates. Which I really don't want to do.
Paperwork is hell.

V, anytime you're up for that in-depth discussion about stupid fucking awfully great people, I'm so ready. It's one thing to complain about her to my other friends (who hate her too, because she's fucking annoying), but I can't tell them how shitty I feel around her because as much as I hate her and can't stand her, I can't help wishing I could have her perfect life. And her body.

God I sound like a fucking serial killer.

Also, my plans for flirting have been postponed. L hasn't been in school since Monday, when I decided that I would start flirting. So that freaking sucks. Now I know I won't have the balls to do anything, because I think too much before I do anything, and it always comes out fucking awkward.

I always have so many things to say. Today they kind of just came out jumbled.

I was going to get ice cream after school with my mom. A big tub of it.
As we were going home, I asked her why we were going the way we were.
"Didn't you want ice cream?"
"Uh. ......... Um."
"Alright then."
Somehow, I convinced myself to get a big-ass fucking teddy bear instead.
I'm kind of a stuffed animal whore. I love them, especially the soft ones. I have this little blue moose who is so soft and his antlers are stuffed and he's just so so freaking cute.

Stuffed animals > Ice cream


  1. Stuffed animals are ten times better than ice cream!!! I am commited to a certain elmo myself, haha. I'm glad you're doing better today, and it totally sucks that L hasn't been at school! But on the brightside you'll get an excuse to talk to him without looking weird and "hey where have you been?" Is an awesome conversation starter. Then just kind of go with the flow and you should do fine. He'll probably do most of the talking anyway. :)
    Good luck babe!
    Scarlet <3

  2. OMG I am a total stuffed animal whore too! :D I remember when I first invited my bf to come over I was so afraid he'd think I was a demented psychopath with all my unicorns bwahaha!
    Great job for turning down the ice cream!
    How exciting your so close to your first goal. Ah this post makes me happy. I think you should go with your parents scale. I've noticed that with time scales tend to say you weigh more...? At least with my experience...
    Stay strong <3