Sunday, March 14, 2010

A few things...

@Phantasmagorical Delusion;
I definitely understand what you mean, and I have actually thought about what will happen when I reach my UGW. I know I can't just start pigging out when I finally lose the weight. This is my lifestyle currently, the alternate starve-binge-starve-binge. With this "diet" I'm doing, I'm trying to refocus my mind and body to something I can mentally live with better, maybe something more like starve-starve-starve-binge. I don't know if this is making sense... But I hope it is.

Well, guys have never actually told me that, in those exact words. But I can see it in their eyes, the way they look at my friends, and the way their gaze drifts over me, only to quickly shift back to my friends. And I'm sick of it. Sure, maybe I'm desperate, an attention whore. At least I can admit to it.

Isn't it though? It really sucks, especially when you see those happy, thin couples, while inside you're grasping desperately for a single shred of that happiness.
The Chemical Diet is something I found on SkinnyDoll. First week goes as follows:

Every day breakfast: orange juice + skimmed milk + coffee or tea
Day 1:
Lunch: 1 fruit
Dinner: coffee or tea.
Day 2:
Lunch: 1 orange or orange juice
Dinner: 1 cup skim milk OR one boiled egg.
Day 3:
Lunch: 1 toast + tea
Dinner: tea or coffee
Day 4:
Lunch: 1 fruit
Dinner: 1 cup green salad + tea or coffee
Day 5:
Lunch: 1 apple
Dinner: coffee or tea
Day 6:
Lunch: 1 fruit
Dinner: 1 cup of skim milk
Day 7:
Lunch: 1 toast + coffee or tea
Dinner: coffee or tea
I'm going to start over with Week 1, since last week was epic fail.

My weekly mantra:
My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.
-Jack Kerouac

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