Sunday, March 28, 2010

Newest Plan

I don't suppose anyone noticed, but I went missing for a little while.

I also went eating for a little while and haven't stopped.
I don't know what I weigh right now. Too much. I weighed 167.something in full sweats and slippers, so I'm estimating around 164 or 165.
Fuck me.

I'm starting a new plan, which if you've been following me long enough, you'll know that I don't often stick to my plans.
I was supposed to be 150 on Friday, as of two weeks ago. You can see how that worked out.

Anyway, my new plan is to cut processed foods out of my diet. 100%.
I've essentially cut meat out of my diet with hardly a blip on the problematic scale. So maybe I can do this.

A list of processed foods I will allow myself to eat on occasion:
Chicken broth

Anything else is completely off-limits, especially chocolate. I hate how far I slip backwards when I start my period. I just want to go off and die right now. My stomach is full. Fucking sucks. My face is starting to get even doughier. Fuckfuckfuck.

Sorry. I'll stop complaining I know I need to. I sound exactly the way I am: a fat loser who complains about not being able to lose weight and stuffs her face. I wish I could blame it on some medical condition, but I can't. I have to live with the fact that I'm fat because of what I've chosen to do.
I think that makes it worse, thinking that if I tried hard enough I could stop.
But I don't. I don't know why.


  1. I noticed you were gone my dear! I think your new plan sounds great!! So are you just going to stick to things like nuts, seeds, fruits, and veggies, as well as fruit and vegetable juices??? Sorry for the long question but I'm curious.
    Also, I think you could stick to this plan, mostly because it kicks things off your diet not because they're binge foods, or too high in cals, but because they're not pure enough for you to eat, which on the flipside makes you feel better about yourself. :)
    Also, don't fret about weight goals not being made. I mean, aim for em, but if you don't make it don't go beserk. Haha, all of us would go crazy if we focused on our weight goals too much...wait a minute...I think we DO all go crazy! Hahahahaha, I hope that put a small smile on your face!
    Good luck with the new plan babe!!

  2. Please don't get yourself down - We all have our bad days - But you will pick yourself up - I know you will. You just have to focus - And everyone of us messes up sometimes - Your being honest - And thats the best thing - being honest and saying what your going to do about it - Good luck and please don't beat yourself up to much

    Rachel x