Sunday, May 16, 2010

Long road to nowhere.

Intake is shot for today.

Running starts today.
Chemical Diet starts tomorrow.

Fuck me.
I'm so stressed about this job- I want it so much! They're hiring eighteen counselors (sounds good, right?), but here's the kicker:
They're only hiring three newcomers. Fifteen of the counselors are already in.
Fuck them.
Fuck me.
I want this so badly.

If they don't call today I may stress eat my way through an entire baguette.

Breathe, Charlie, breathe.

I woke up this morning at 156.8 (154.8 my parents' scale. What?!? 10-12 hours of sleep should be on every single weight loss program) and promptly went downstairs and began eating.
And eating.
And eating.

Jesus someone please locate my dignity and self-control, they ran away.
I guess I neglected them.
I maybe could have bathed them and kept them cleaner?



  1. Yes I definatley agree with you on the sleep front. I'm not doing so well myself at the minute, but we will pull ourselves together, we can and we will. We have too.
    Rachel x

  2. sleep owns!! lol. specially since u can sleep through meals and hunger pains... not that i can even really remember what they feel like :(
    thankyou for the comment. btw, lol, i totally can fly!! wen i lose enough weight that i float :D
    defying gravity!!!!! :P i missed u too charlie... wen i checked in on blogger the other day i read ur post and didnt comment... im making up for it :P see :D i have catching up to doo :P
    i missed u loads... :) ima stop saying that now :D
    good luck for job! i really hope you get it
    love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx... x

  3. Job searching is one of the most horrifying, confidence-shattering processes there is. I'm sorry it is stressing you so much, but if you keep on a skinny path whether you get the job or not, you can still have that happiness to fall back on.

    Thanks for your comment last week. So nice to have someone toot my horn, since I'm finding
    it so difficult to do for myself lately.

    Baguettes aren't really so good.
    <3 Eva