Saturday, May 15, 2010


Or left?

I went with a friend to see that movie "Just Wright" last night (heh, rhyme!).
It was the shittiest movie I've seen in awhile.

Is it sad that it almost made me cry though?
For those of you who haven't seen it (and I really wouldn't recommend it), it's about this lady Leslie (Queen Latifah), who has been single for awhile, every guy always sees her as a friend. She meets this NBA star, and starts falling for him, but then he falls for her godsister, and they get engaged. Then he gets hurt, and Leslie starts taking care of him, because she's a physical therapist. So he starts basketball again and the bitchy godsister comes back (the night after he and Leslie have sex.... Awk). Then she gets pissed and leaves and god, I could just really fucking relate to the whole "You aren't girlfriend material, you're friend material (because you're overweight, even though they never say that)" And dammit she's the fucking Queen, she should be getting guys all over the place.

Really hit home.

Anyway, it's time to try something new, something different, something fun.
You wanna know why?

I had my camp interview today.
I think they liked me.
I hope they liked me.

Please let them have liked me.
There are only three spots for new counselors. I want this job so bad, and it's so close I can almost taste it.
Not that I would. Taste it, I mean.
Didn't eat today until my dad suggested we go out to lunch.
I ate.
A lot.
I feel gross.

And the fact that I'll know by tomorrow if I got the job is pushing me into changing. I NEED to be 145 by June 20. That's a little bit less than 3 pounds per week.
If I actually stick to shit, I could do it.

Crossed bread off my list today, but I already had a sandwich... Guess I'll be running tonight.
Fuck, I hate myself.

Thank you for your beautiful comments, you guys are so lovely.
I've decided to start the Chemical Diet again, the progress I made last time wasn't so great, but it's nice having every meal already planned out, and I feel different. I can conquer this. I can. Maybe?

Probably not.
3 pounds by next Sunday. I'll let you know what my morning weight is tomorrow. The only thing I'm having tonight is Diet Root Beer (yum!), and I'll start the CD tomorrow.

Love you guys so much, I'm so proud of all your progress!


  1. I'm sure they loved you at your camp interview, No, I know they loved you. Bread is definately one of the hardest to quit.

    And I don't think I have come across the chemical diet yet. Maybe tell me more? Please?
    Love and hugs and stuff
    Rachel x

  2. Definitely left.

    I'm running tonight too! (runners always have the best bodies...)

    3 pounds per week is doable. Just hard. Think of how proud you'll be when you accomplish it!

    Love you <3

  3. aww i hope loosing those 3lbs a week works out. how i would love that also. but i cant seem to stick to anything. i just seem to restrict and thts it. like exercise too, but i just have tht problem of actually loosing. good luck on your job. im sure youll get it. let us kno!! =]