Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I finished my day of noming at the same weight I woke up at, 159.2.

All in all, not too terrible a day.

Let me clarify:
I didn't self-sabotage today. I did eat dinner (turkey on a hamburger roll, the good, fresh kind of deli turkey, not the nasty, processed deli turkey that's rubbery, a few bagel chips) and had a snack post-workout (a little bit of sugar-free pudding and some honey-roasted peanuts). Lunch was a carton of chocolate milk (yum) and a few raspberries. I've decided not to count chocolate milk in my Anti-Chocolate Campaign, because I don't drink it that often, and it's more milk than chocolate. Like milk chocolate is more chocolate than milk. Isn't it funny how the names are in reverse order of what they mostly contain? I think it is. :] Breakfast (and after school) was strawberry milk.

And now that that's over, let's talk about more important things!

Oh, who am I kidding. The weight's the most important thing. Since today was better than yesterday, tomorrow is going to be even better, right??
I haven't been back to ballet since my little "I'm not graceful or accurate" episode. I don't think I'll be going back this year. I like modern a lot better, it's not precision or control, even though it is. It's more feeling, and I need to feel. I need to feel and I need a release. I wish my modern class was three or four hours. I would love every minute of it.

I also worked out... If that matters. 200 calories walking/running, a little bit of strength, and a little bit of Pilates (would've been a lot of Pilates if there hadn't been a spider the size of a 50 cent coin running around on the floor of my basement. God I despise them so much).

Kristal; Well, I am a disappointment, but anything claiming to be fat-free and over 150 calories should be burned at stake. Just saying. -falls from nudge- C:

Scarlet; Thank you. C: You have no idea how much I smiled at your comment. I think I really do need to stop being so hard on myself and stop expecting myself to do the same thing over again, especially if it was something amazing. Even a little progress is better than none!

Gracile; Yeah. I hope we all find our answers. C:

Rachel; Since I read your comment, I've been trying to do that, say to myself "If I go further, I'll hate myself more. The best I can do is be good to make up for what I've done." You're right, it is hard to do, but maybe one day I'll be amazing at it! I'm happy I could make you proud for getting my job. C:

OhMyGosh; Yes, I can get in shape! (I have to... There's no living down being fat at summer camp, supposedly being a role model for younger girls) I think I'm going to liquid fast for a few days here, see what happens. If I eat, as long as it's low-cal, then whatever. I'm just going to try to go with the flow. C: And blow in the wind when I'm light enough to flow away.

Dreams.and.Bones.; Thanks for your advice, I'm definitely going to keep the tank top idea in my brain-drawer (that's where in my mind I put bits and pieces of useful information. I just made up the name brain-drawer two seconds ago, it's kind of catchy, no?) and see how bad I look come June. C:

Thank you guys for your lovely comments and for putting up with me. You're too good. <3

1 comment:

  1. We love you:)

    Thanks for the comment, sweets!