Monday, April 12, 2010


I've come to a few conclusions.

1. None of my friends actually like me. They just pretend.
2. My annoying, perfect, skinny friend is now obsessed with Skins, and Cassie. I'm pretty sure she thinks she and Cassie are exactly the same, even though they are nothing alike.
3. I wish I were Cassie. She's so fucking pretty and cute, so demure with her adorable little sayings.
4. I gained and lost a follower today. The same one. How sad.
5. No matter what I do, until I'm skinny, L is never going to like me like I want him to.
6. I want everything more than I should.
7. I really am a fuck-up.
8. I'm a waste of space.
9. Lists are nice. Organized. Concrete.

Unlike me.


  1. I also get the sad impression that the few people i call my friends don't really like me.

    and then i realize that i really only have like, 3 or so friends at all.

    not sure which one makes me more depressed.

    well, that wasn't really uplifting, was it? sorry :/

    i hope you have a better day tomorrow! sometimes (all the time), i think being thin is way better than having friends anyway.

  2. Need to revise some of those conclusions :) You're amazing, just going through a rough time, that you'll no doubt pull out of, and come out stronger than ever! This L boy has you on the ropes, as if friends weren't enough to handle, but you got an agenda set out and me!!

  3. Hey, there, lists aren't all they're cracked up to be! You're awesome! I wish I could be upbeat about L, he seems so sweet! I'm running low in the happiness department...somehow A is still managing to drive me insane even when I'm not trying anything. Sooo, yeah the guys liking you thing? I hope it works out!
    Gaining and losing a follower sucks, it's like the worst feeling ever. Right behind guy rejection.
    Love you, feel better!

  4. You aren't a fuck-up <3
    I feel that way with the vast majority of my friends, too :/
    I hope you feel better,

  5. Thank you so much for your comment. It was really thoughtful.

    I feel the same way about things... sometimes I think people don't like me because I gained a TON of weight over the past few months, but try to put yourself in their shoes and look at yourself. Look at it from the outside.

    Use this as your motivation to lose, lose, lose!

    PS I'm following you now. STAY STRONG!

  6. 1. Same here.
    2. Ha! What a joke. I actually know a girl who reminds me a lot of Cassie, and I think my obsession with Cassie has rendered me borderline obsessed with said girl...
    3. SAME HERE. It's unhealthy to be so obsessed with a fictional character, but I am. She is seriously like, my eating disorder personified. She's just representative of everything I want to be... minus the drug use.
    4. I lost a follower too! I was sad. : (
    5. For real though, I feel the same way. I mean, I don't like a specific boy right now but I'm pretty sure that be being a Fatty McFatface is the reason none of my crushes have ever been reciprocated.
    6. Me too, it's terrible. Want is bad. We should not want. The thing I WANT more than anything is to not want.
    7. Me too.
    8. Me toooooo.
    9. I fucking love lists.

    Conclusion: we're the same person.

  7. Hey there,
    hope your day is going better today!
    just wanted to let you know that i awarded you that sunshine award again hehe i know you already got it once, so it's not like you have to do the tagging thing again. just wanted to spread the sunshine & lovin' around to those who deserve it!

  8. *refuses to unlike you*

    i hate number one :/ i know the feeling