Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I don't get it.

I love you guys, but I just don't get it.

My horrible, oppressive, mean, rude, obnoxious, always-has-to-be-right, in-your-face friend has a date.
My wonderful, bitchy (to other bitches), kick-ass friend has a date.
My friend with a boyfriend has a date.
My Skinny Annoying Friend (SAF) has a date.
The Midget (who I realized today has the biggest muffin-top ever, and has gotten really fat) has a date.
All the skanks have dates.
My non-friend who is disgusting and nasty and creepy (she gives of major lesbian vibes- not the cool kind of lesbian that's awesome, I'm not homophobic, I swear, the creepy lesbian that doesn't know when to stop touching) has a date.
All the guys asked sophomores, so now I'm going to have the most annoying fucking slutty sophomores at MY prom.

Ever since, like, middle school, I've wanted to go to prom with an awesome dress, and awesome hair, and an awesome body, and an awesome date.
I have one of those things.
I decided I'm fasting tomorrow through Friday night. We're having dinner at prom.
Dear God, help me stay strong.

I can't believe I'm fucking stressing over a stupid dance. With stupid people that I only have to deal with for one more year. Thank you guys for always being here when I need you most. And even when I don't need you (but don't worry, I always need you).

I guess it's a blessing that I'm not happy. Happiness makes me forget why I fucking suck (hello, Fat, are you listening?). And that makes me eat.
I don't want to eat.
I don't want to be fat.
I just want to float away.


  1. My old best friend who was chubby and had facial chin hair always had dates. It baffled my mind. I could never rationalize it so I just gave up. I just made her my reverse thinspo. That mean? Ah I'm a bitch.

    Despite not having a date (is that official yet?) I bet you'll still be so glam and fabulous. Make 'em jealous.

    PS - I'm fasting too. *crosses fingers*

  2. im sure youll have fun. i decided im not going to mine. my bf doesnt want to take me and no one asked. but really im sure you will look real beautiful. forget about your friends date and those slutty sophomores, this is a time for you to have fun!! stay strong, Laura

  3. honestly, sometimes its because guys are afraid of rejection so they aim lower. i know, i know, everyone says that just to make you feel better, but half the time its true.

    although that doesnt make us feel better about being date-less, does it? nope, i feel the same.. gah

  4. (: Hey, I don't have a date for prom either, but just going, dressing up pretty, and having a good time will be great <3 You don't have a guy yet because they're not good enough, hun~ especially if they're settling for muffin tops with love handles, ewewew. Guys are intimidated by strong women (; So stay strong, and you'll come out on top of all these bitches

  5. Yeah I don't get it either... all my friends have boyfriends. They range from: the fat, the nerds, the emo's, the popular, the basically everyone but me. Every one always told me I was pretty and skinny, I guess they are lying...cause no guys talk to me. I feel like friends are becoming more and more fed up with my problems... I hope you feel better babey.

  6. Maybe its something about your personality. No matter how hot a girl looks, no one wants to be around someone that is wallowing in self pity. THe girl I took to my HS prom was fat. Actually fat, not thin but she thinks she's fat because she has a mental disease like Ana. Want to know why I asked her? Because she was an awesome person. I enjoyed her company, she made me happy, she was a great kisser, she was cool, and she had a very pretty face. Sure, she had some imperfections, but I was a senior, she was a junior, and I could have asked dozens of sophomors who were much thinner or prettier. I didn't because I wanted to go with someone that I actually liked. Personality actually does mean something. Maybe not to every guy, but if you date someone that is only interested in your looks, that relationship is going to be a disaster. Quit punishing yourself with Mia and Ana. I know that sounds like a cliche, but you need to find a way out of this pit or you are going to end up dead. Life can be good or bad or whatever you make it. Who cares if you've been given a shit deal. Make it into something better. Lots of people have done it. They do it by busting their ass in a meaningful direction. Not by killing themselves with Slim Fast. Every time you have these feelings, you should go outside and pick up litter, or go down to the homeless shelter, or join Habitat for Humanity. Ridicule my advice all you want, but I guarantee that it will help. Who cares what you weigh? Everyone's thinspiration pictures make me sick. Those girls don't look good to anyone. Guy like girls with curves, not walking skeletons. And guys like girls who make them feel special, wanted, needed, etc.

    I'm noticing you Shadow Girl. I read about what you're doing, how you're hurting yourself, and I want you to stop.