Thursday, April 15, 2010

Place Appropriate Title Here

For some reason, epic eating fail today wasn't as epic as I thought.

Apparently a Rice Krispie treat, a Snickers, half a Campell's soup at hand, five blueberry muffins, and loads of water equals a 2 ounce drop in my weight.

Feel free to say "What the fuck."

God knows I say it enough (sorry, God).

Also, I do an epic job of failing at not liking L.
I even fucking told my SAF that I like him.
I think it would help if he didn't sit in front of me and stopped talking to me.

That would work.
Apparently this girl in my class likes him and is all over him, always telling him he's so fucking hot or whatever.
She's really skinny...

Shit, whatever.

I'm planning a fast for next week, my spring break. Tomorrow, I'm going to try not to eat as much as possible... A friend is taking me out to dinner for pizza and french fries. Fuckit.

Riddle; Doesn't school just fucking suck? I've had senioritis since seventh grade, it's time to get out. I can't even attempt to add exercise on top. Even though I should...

Z.; I completely agree. Things have gone so well in the past when I've just let them go, and let God take care of them. It's just so hard to let them go, I'm kind of a control-freak... I don't like not knowing what's going to happen. I think that's part of my whole thing, the "I don't want to know if what's going to happen will be good or bad, but I know that I can affect it and make it bad." Call me crazy.

Charr.; Well, I am pathetic, but thank you for telling me otherwise. :] I dunno though, FAFs I think are easier to deal with because I'm not constantly comparing myself to them... But at the same time, FAFs and SAFs are both fucking annoying anyway. So it really doesn't matter! XD


1. Eating failure = weight loss, what the fuck?
2. Giving up is harder than it looks.
3. I need a break from life.
4. Thank God tomorrow's Friday.

I'm going to throw in a little prayer here, I realize that this isn't the most spiritual or holy place to do it, but it's my spiritual place, with my family, with people I love.
I think God will understand.

Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for all the wonderful people that have touched my life over the past few months, especially the people here. They are so absolutely amazing and I love them with all my heart. Please help me grow and become a better person, and help me figure out how to stop with all the silly hatred and drama that seems to be spreading like swine. Help me learn to let go, put my faith in you, and jump, knowing that you'll catch me.
Thank you for being there for me throughout my life; I know I haven't been the most devoted. I'm still unsure of my beliefs, but I know that you will help me through all of this.

1 comment:

  1. I'm confused, what is a SAF and a FAF? Bahh!

    Also, binging and then losing weight is the craziest thing... like the day before yesterday I actually restricted, didn't lose ANY weight, then yesterday I totally binged, and two pounds fell off. What the heck? Well I guess we should feel lucky that we were given a little weight-loss treat. : )